Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
did i just pee glitter
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize