sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
