toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It's just like the Real World with babies
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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