i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
apparently the secret to your success is patron
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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