is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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