two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
