I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
