Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
