I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize