It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I need to sanitize my soul.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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