Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He shit in the fireplace
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
