by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
