You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
