Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize