Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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