Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
