I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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