I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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