I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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