I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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