He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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