some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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