anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
