Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Do vagina's smell?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
