so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
