your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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