But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize