Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Rumble strips road head = magical
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
