My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
