OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
