I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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