Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
