Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
