every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
