i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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