I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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