p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
