Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
