I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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