ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize