Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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