I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
