Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
