I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize