So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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