I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
