I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize