Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
