i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
