What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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