that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He felt like a one man threesome
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
