He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
