if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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