normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
