i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
