He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
