dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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