in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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