She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
where are you?
Hypothermia
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
