Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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