:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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