I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Pants are for mortals
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