i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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