you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
