Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
