Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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