Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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