I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
