Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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