I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
