you guys were way drunker than both of me
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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