put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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