I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
